So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
