What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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