i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
