btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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