I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
