i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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