So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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