My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
