I can't watch pbs sober anymore
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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