I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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