i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
