Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
