I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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