Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
