Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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