I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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