Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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