First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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