Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
