One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
