when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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