im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
