I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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