i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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