Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
