Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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