Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
