My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
