i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
