Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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