And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
