I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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