there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Never joke about your clitoris.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
