I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
