Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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