in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We were destined to go to rehab together
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize