She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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