Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
