he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
