i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
