you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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