My pussy is not your playground.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
