everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
