So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
