So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Holy sore nipples Batman
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
