Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
porn star boner night. come get it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
