Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
