the new term for farting is butt boxing.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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