I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
pop tarts are not kleenex
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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