he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
