is your mom at the bar?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
